Sorrow
by Lioneh
Summary: 28/100: 'Sorrow.' Upon awakening after the events of Dirge of Cerberus, Genesis finds himself upon the soil of his hometown - Banora. And with that, comes painful memories. No pairings. 100% yaoi and cursing free. Genesis Rhapsodos one shot.


**Disclaimer: Anything to do with Genesis Rhapsodos or Final Fantasy VII is completely owned by Square Enix.**

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Wing beats.

That steady sound was enough to break the silence that surrounded the pitiful ruins of a once proud apple village.

Banora.

The former SOLDIER made barely a sound as his feet came to rest on a cliff that looked out on the wreckage of his former home. Drawing his wing back to his side, Genesis Rhapsodos gently lowered the body of Weiss the Immaculate down beside a large rock, carefully resting him on the side of the stone. Resuming his standing position, the once degrading SOLDIER now stood tall as he observed the ruins of whatever remained of the town - all the buildings were merely crumbling piles of rotting wood, and overgrowth had started to take hold.

Faint glimmers of shallow lifestream pools beneath the precipice that Genesis was standing on swirled about below, almost making the remains of Banora seem scenic.

_Almost._

Something about them sent a searing emotional pain through his tired soul, like an old wound being torn open inside his chest.

Lowering his head, the ex-SOLDIER began to walk.

He took the side path that managed to wind around to the long abandoned mako mine, tipping over the edge down into a cavern below.

Genesis swiftly jumped into the air, hardly savouring the weightless sensation that came with flying as he landed on the other side of the small cavity in the ground, his feet already striding towards his final destination.

That tree.

He cast a forlorn gaze up to the soaring heights of the only surviving Banora White, seeing the branches adorned with leaves.

The only tree that sprang back to life after it was burned down nine years ago.

Everything else had perished in that fire. His old life, his memories, his childhood, his horrible deception.

The side of the former SOLDIER's mouth quirked downwards as he allowed his mind to revisit those painful memories and upsetting emotions that came with them.

Drawing his gaze back from the sky, Genesis let his cool blue eyes trail over the sorry state that was his previous home. He stared bitterly at it, refusing to let his mind return to what he had done so long ago.

His so called 'parents' had died by his hands.

Hesitantly, the redhead took steps full of shame towards his abandoned home, his soul writhing with guilt as he now gazed at the razed mess of wood. Sharpening his enhanced vision, his eyes caught sight of shard of broken glass which reflected the dim light of his surroundings. Curiosity began working inside his mind as tossed aside a chunk of wood to get a better gaze, seeing a few more glimmers of glass dust.

It was then he saw it.

A single, smashed photo frame.

Stooping down and reaching a gloved hand in, Genesis grasped the charred frame ever so gently, retrieving it from underneath another piece of decomposing wood.

On his knees, the ex-SOLDIER studied the picture carefully through the broken glass, seeing a faded out picture of himself…and Angeal Hewley, his childhood best friend.

Both he and Angeal were proudly holding fresh cans of dumbapple juice, cheesy grins on both of their faces.

He couldn't tear his gaze from it as his hands began to tremble.

Angeal.

Oh, gaia, he was _dead._

"And i-it was…a-all my fault…" Genesis felt his voice break as the damaged picture frame slipped through his fingers, hearing it hit the ground violently as emotion over took his body.

Pitiful sobs shook him to the very core as an immense sensation of guilt swallowed him, a terrible, disgusting feeling consuming him as undesired tears streaked down his face.

"It was because of me!" He screamed, slamming a fist to the ground as he raised his pained face to the sky. "Oh goddess…"

Through shaking sobs Genesis cried into the dawn air, straining his vocal chords as he let out a long, agonised yell that seemed to pierce the very heavens.

For the next few minutes he trembled on his knees, feeling like the tears were never going to end as his mind raced with all the things he had ever said to Angeal, all the harsh words, the truths of their existence, their natures as beings.

"E…even S-Sephiroth…" Genesis whispered, his face awash with distress. His mind revisited the time he had brought such devastation on the greatest SOLDIER ShinRa had ever seen - told him he was nothing less than the perfect monster.

Those words had destroyed the General - turned him insane.

It was because of _his_ actions that led to the entire Planet nearly being obliterated by Sephiroth and Meteor - he had witnessed those events in dreams when he was in his comatose state.

He had _destroyed _his two best friends, his family, and worst of all, _himself._

The guilt was unshakable, constant, relentless.

Genesis collapsed onto his side in his consuming distress, seeing his wing tightly retracted around his side in a feeble attempt to provide comfort for himself.

Again, like all those years ago, all he saw of himself was a _monster_. Screaming out in frustration he scrambled around for a piece of shrapnel, feeling his hands close around a sharp slice of metal.

Sitting up slowly, Genesis felt a deadly determination inside of him as he saw the jagged edge of the scorched metal, the dim light of early morning reflecting off the rim. He then turned his head, his teary, bloodshot eyes staring straight down at his elegant wing.

That _thing_ would always serve as a reminder.

A testimony to the monster that he was, the guilt he had.

Hesitantly he touched the sharp edge of the uneven blade against the thick muscle that joined his wing to his shoulder, seeing small feathers sprouting from the limb.

He winced as he increased the pressure slightly, seeing a tiny trickle of blood forming where the blade had cut the muscle.

_Oh, sweet Minerva…_ he thought bitterly as he felt tearless sobs overtake him again, dropping the jagged piece of shrapnel and barely noticing it as it connected with the ground.

On his knees again, Genesis brought his trembling hands to his tear streaked face, his mind swimming with all the memories of the people he used to love - Angeal, Sephiroth, his lower-ranked colleagues who he had all deceived - gaia, even his so called _parents. _

All were gone because of his selfish, heartless actions.

Now he had _nobody _- not a single conscious soul on the planet was aware he existed.

He was completely, utterly alone.

_And it was all his fault._

"I'm…s-sorry…" he breathed shakily, his eyes brimming with bitter tears. Lowering his head, the former SOLDIER cried his heart out, thinking only of those who had suffered their downfall because of his. "Oh…oh goddess…I'm _so sorry…_"

For the next few moments he freely released all the remorseful, regretful emotion he had pent-up for so long, grieving for the deaths of his friends, his family. Whether it was continuing sobs, anguished screams or simple shuddering, he felt it was necessary to vent his feelings.

Finally suppressing his distress, Genesis remained in his kneeling position for the next few minutes, reflecting silently on all his actions up until this point - fully aware that he had deserved to die yet was sent back by the goddess of the lifestream herself - Minerva.

He was still needed and still had very much to learn, despite what sins he had committed and what knowledge he gained from LOVELESS.

Raising his head slightly, Genesis felt a tiny flicker of hope inside of him.

Maybe he'd just made the first step - the first move in becoming the hero he so longed to be.

Perhaps there was still a chance he could make a difference to help rather than to hinder, to atone for all he had done.

Quite possibly he needed to realise his wrong choices and the immense consequences they brought and learn from them - it was all he could do to carry on the hopes and dreams of those he had brought down.

Finally, after three years, Genesis Rhapsodos felt the tiny tug of a true smile beginning to form.

_Angeal…Sephiroth…I'll become the hero. Not for me, but for all of us - I'll carry on that legacy until the day I die._

No longer would he dwell on the past - the future was all that counted from now on.

His actions would be to help anybody he could, not just himself like before.

That was something he'd picked up from his long time adversary - Zack Fair, who had always strived to make others _happy, _despite his personal feelings towards them.

Genesis had been one such case - even at the peak of his madness, that puppy never gave up, never stopped persisting. In the end it was Zack who saved him, revealed to him what to strive for and even had the heart to fulfil his long-time childhood dream.

He would carry that on, too.

Genesis turned his head to glance at his wing again, slowly tensing the muscles as he bent his knees to stand up again.

While it would show what his past mistakes had brought about - perhaps his wing would remind him that he was _better_ than that now and striving to do good for the world instead of desiring to take it down.

From this day forward, he would give his all.

_He would become a hero._

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A/N: …wow.

This was an idea that I had kicking around for a while now…I always wondered how Genesis would react to what he had done when he was degrading, even after three years of being well again. I've never written an after DoC fic before so I decided I'd have Gen visit Banora one last time to kick off the memories of his past. It was incredibly angst-y and sad to write this , believe me D: I actually started writing past 11 PM at night…-sweatdrop-

Anyway, I hope you all found this worthwhile, because I wasn't really sure where it was going after the point of Genesis apologising…so I added a spark of hope towards his future actions. Yay.

Okays - Imma stop rambling now.

- Lioneh


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